This post is on the 3 guidelines to getting a Finnish girlfriend.
This is probably because like ladies all over the world, Finnish ladies are waaaaaaaaaaay more complicated than Finnish men. In fact, if you want to get a Finnish Girlfriend, you should just treat her like how you would treat any other lady, and not go by nationality.
However, because I’d observed some quirks common to most of my Finnish girl friends, I came up with 3 guidelines.
The key difference between “guidelines” and “steps” is that “guidelines” are more general and have to be adapted to each lady. Steps on the other hand, are more foolproof and “brainless”. This means, don’t be an asshole and go on and on about yourself throughout the dinner date. Be nice and sweet and listen to her!
The 3 guidelines are written from my personal observations and friends’ (both ladies and gentlemen) sharing. Surprisingly, when it comes to foreign men dating Finnish ladies, there is a common tendency for the foreign man to think that he did everything wrong in the courtship process, but somehow still got the lady.
This is perhaps the mysterious allure of Finnish ladies…Maybe?! 😀
Or it could simply be the silly foreign guys who are unwilling to share their secrets with us.
Anyway I personally think that all females are mysterious to various extent. I have a close friend who is a playboy, and he likes to use the metaphor of a vending machine to describe both sexes. For men–he says–you can put a coin into the vending machine, push a button, and get an expected drink. For women however, you can never know what will come out of the machine.
-frowns- Food for thought, eh?? Without further ado, here are the 3 guidelines:
How to Get a Finnish Girlfriend #1: Be comfortable and happy in your own skin.
I think Finnish girls value guys who are comfortable in their own skin. Note that I say “comfortable in their own skin”, and not “the best version of themselves”. According to my observations, Finnish girls tend to be OK with the former, while East-Asian/Singaporean girls tend to regard both the former and the latter as prerequisites.
I guess this is because Finnish girls tend to value a guy for what he is, but Singaporean girls tend to value a guy for what he is and will be. For example, I haven’t heard of a guy who is rejected by a Finnish girl because he is not rich enough. But I have heard of quite a handful of East-Asian/Singaporean ladies rejecting guys because of their financial status.
How nice is it to have a Finnish lady who loves you just as you are. 🙂
How to Get a Finnish Girlfriend #2: Recognize that in spite of their relative independence, Finnish ladies are pretty girly at heart!
Finnish ladies–or Nordic ladies in general– are super independent. For example, most have the ability to fix and drive cars, carry really heavy things, and are not whiny.
However, because of this independence, it is tempting to assume that Finnish girls are less girly than say, East-Asian girls. This perception is amplified by the absence of the concept of “amaeru/ 撒娇/ 애교“ in Nordic countries, especially in Finland. This term is roughly translated as “dependence” in the English language. The nuance of this term “amaeru/ 撒娇/ 애교” however, is not translatable–it probably IS unique to East-Asian/Singaporean cultures. If you are interested in studying more about the concept, please watch this video.
Well I tried explaining the term “amaeru” to my Finnish boyfriend, and he frowned and went,
“Huuhhhhh, does this mean that you act like a kid in order to be considered attractive to the opposite sex???”
Actually, yes! Wikipedia defines “amaeru/애교/撒娇” this way:
“Aegyo (Korean: 애교, hanja: 愛嬌) in Korean refers to a cute display of affection often expressed through a cute/baby voice, facial expressions, and gestures. Aegyo literally means behaving in a coquette-ish manner and is commonly expected for male and female k-pop idols to behave this way. However, it is not considered weird if normal, non-celebrities behave in such a way, too, since it is merely an expression of affection to loved ones and friends.“
So this gets me thinking, if Finnish girls don’t have the terms “amaeru/애교/撒娇” in their Finnish language and culture, does this mean that they are inherently different from an East-Asian/Singaporean lady like myself?
The answer is no. Girls are girls and ladies are ladies, no matter the nationality. The nature is the same. The mystery is also the same.
My personal conclusion is that culture and language shape the way we behave, but within we are all the same. I have two Finnish girl friends for example, who like Hello Kitty but do not openly admit it because in Finland, a love for Hello Kitty is seen as childish. You discover such girly quirks in Finnish ladies only over time–there are no Hello Kitties on their social media platforms simply because it is seen as “childish” and frowned upon.
East Asian ladies on the other hand seriously SPAM hello kitty stuffs. Want to know if a East-Asian/Singaporean lady likes hello kitty? Just check out her facebook or instagram.
So my advice to you is–if you are dating a Finnish lady, look out for the hidden girl in her. It could seriously be very silly things like glitter, crystals, lace, ribbons, pink, or colourful things. Once you discover the girly thing she likes, you can make stuffs she likes for her in secret, or buy girly things for her! So this precious unspoken secret belongs to just you and her. ^-^
Anyway this subtlety is something I really like about Finnish culture hehe. Because of the societal expectation of ALL FINNS to be adult-like, serious and humble at all times, whenever you discover a secretly-girly or secretly-bitchy side to a Finn, you’d be really happy! It’s as though you’d earned a higher level in the relationship. 😀
Oh and most Finnish girls can cook well. Just saying.
How to Get a Finnish Girlfriend #3: Take note of details and compliment her for it.
One thing I’d noticed about some Finnish ladies, for example, is the attention paid to their MANICURE.
I can’t help but look at the manicures of Finnish ladies, just like how I openly stare at tattoos against pale skin. You’d rarely see a Finnish lady with imperfect manicure. IF their nails are really terribly done, they’d apologize about it.
Also, usually the colour of the manicure matches the colour of what they are wearing. It’s really amazing and consistent! Try to pay closer attention in future– Finnish girls really tend to have close-to-perfect manicures, and not manicures that are “anyhow” and hastily applied!
Another detail is the blonde hair colour. It is tempting to think that blonde is just blonde, but that is not true. I have some Finnish girlfriends who sometimes dye their hair to one lighter shade of blonde, and unless you observe closely, this is not easily visible. Always remember to compare the hair root colour to the rest of the hair strand.
So, to me, Finnish ladies are pretty meticulous and pay close attention to details. Therefore, I think complementing them on details would greatly set you apart from other guys, if you do notice!!
Tip: If you are a foreign guy, you have a natural advantage! Because I don’t think most Finnish guys tend to compliment their girlfriend much on details.
OKAY I think this is all I have to say about getting a Finnish girlfriend! If you are a foreign guy, you probably have a higher chance of getting a Finnish girlfriend than a Finnish boy. Unless the girl likes a Finnish guy who grunts and feeds them (like yours truly, hehe.) But no, I think Finnish ladies are not as weird as I am–so….
All the best in getting a Finnish girlfriend, bro! I think if I were a guy I’d go for a Finnish girl too. TEEHEE! ❤ ♡ ❤