Before I sleep, I want to quickly write something I realised today, mainly after talking to Dunstan–
There is one main reason why we deny ourselves closure– and that is because it is natural as human beings to be overwhelmed by emotions after an undesirable (and may or may not be traumatic) event. Emotions cloud our perception and forces the brain to take short-cuts. These short cuts include various assumptions, judgements and schemas.
We deny ourselves closure and repeat patterns according to certain rules we create in our own universe. So in a way, core rules of behaviour can be clearly written out in accordance to observations and logic, and we can use these rules to predict the manifestations of a person’s future.
The way out is to start to rely on data once again instead of schemas, and give it time for the new desired rule to perpetuate.
Once a certain schema is present, life repeats itself according to the schema, and the schema reinforces. The drawback is that we miss out on other frames of thoughts and possibilities in life because we do not make decisions in accordance to data.
Sometimes that can be really disastrous, especially when we don’t start on blank spaces.